Changes

Changes are starting to take place. We are getting ready to put the house on the market - even though it is not quite ready. It will need a little work, but we are looking t o see what kind of traffic this will get. The kitchen still needs to be painted, one of the columns has to be fixed, and the exterior has to be painted.
Went out today to try and get some flowers for the front of the house, but did not find anything I liked. Maybe I am being too picky, it really just needs to look good enough for curb appeal to bring people in.

Ed was home for the weekend. It was nice having him here. He relaxed for most of it, but we did get a little yard work done.

I have to head back to work tomorrow. I took an extra vacation day, could not really get up the energy to go in. I am just ready to find a new job and get back to Michigan. There are changes going on at LN, and I do not agree with them. However, I cannot change them and my opinion does not matter. So, instead of being unhappy, it is time to move on. Even if it means working at Barnes & Noble.

Middle of the Night

Holy crap!! Sometime last night/early this morning, a thunderstorm rolled through. Scared the crap out of me - even woke up Justice. We DO NOT need the rain here in the Miami Valley. Now, I have to wait for the grass to dry before I can mow the lawn. I put it off til today, when I could have done it yesterday.

Went to bed sometime after midnight, up after the storm - but able to fall right back to sleep, up at 6am for Justice, and back up at 8am for good. Pretty sure that I will try and take a nap this afternoon. However, most of the afternoon is going to be spent looking at the want ads, just to see what is out there.

Sisters

Sisters
Originally uploaded by stacylebbon.

Me and my sisters. We do not get together often, but the love is always there. They are there when I need them, even when we are far apart. Munchkin, on the right, is getting ready to leave for South Africa - on July 10th - to study abroad. It will be hard not being able to talk to her whenever I want. I am so proud of the young woman she has become. Lori, on the left, is a free spirit. She, like me, is finally trying to figure out what it is she wants her future to have. I am going to be here to support her, always.

Exhausting

It is Saturday night and I am exhausted. We, meaning Justice & I, got up around 8am. He had a vet appt to get his nails clipped just before 10am. After that, I went to Sam's Club to do some shopping, ran to Meijer to get a couple of things, and then came home to clean. I did A LOT of house cleaning - kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, living room, basement, aquarium. I thought I was having company for dinner, so I made a lasagna. It was huge and it went to waste. No show, no call. It sucks because there is no way that I can eat all of that food.

It is 9:30 on Saturday night and I am so ready to go to bed. I am waiting for my stomach ache to go away and then it is time for bed. I can barely keep my eyes open. The worst part - I know that I will sleep like crap. I cannot seem to get a full night of sleeping in. Yes, I know it is because I cannot shut my brain down. If you have read my other posts, you obviously know that there is a lot to think about, figure out, etc.

We have started looking at houses in Michigan, but what is the point? I still do not have a job, and I feel weird applying for jobs. What if I get a job offer? There is no way that this house will be ready and sold quickly. Then what? Do I take time off without pay, or does Ed come back without pay to get the house ready. But, it is not like I can just wait until I get back to Michigan and then look for a job. We need 2 incomes, and would prefer one of those incomes to have benefits. Okay, I need to go to bed. I cannot keep writing about this right now, as it will have me thinking all night long. Probably too late on that front, will probably be tossing and turning through out the night. Do not be surprised to find a post done in the middle of the night. That is the beauty of laptops and wireless internet.

What a week

Ed was here over the weekend. It was great having him here. We went out with some people from my work and Chad, a guy he worked with here. We hung out at Champps Sports Bar to watch the Pistons and Red Wings win some playoff games. It was so much fun getting out of the house.

Sunday, Ed got another wall finished!! We are so close to having the inside completed. All that is left is the kitchen. Then, it is time to start on the exterior. We still have not figured out if we want to paint or re-side. I will have to get some siding estimates and then figure out if we will recoup the money when we sell.

This week has been blah. The weather was absolutely beautiful Monday & Tuesday. Unfortunately, I was sick as a dog both days and home from work in bed. There has been yet another outbreak of sickness at work and since we work in a cube environment, once one person gets it, almost everyone else gets it. Today, it is cold and rainy and I am off to work.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about the future and am getting closer to a decision. I thank all of you for your prayers in this time of indecision. It helps to know that there is a support system out there.

By now, I should know...

what it is I want to be when I grow up. I always thought that at my age, almost 36, I would be in a career I love. Instead, I am doing something I do not enjoy, at all. It is making me question my decisions and I have come to the realization that I made a HUGE mistake going to law school. Yes, it was my decision, but it was not what I really wanted to do. I listened to everyone else and was at a point in my life where I felt I needed to make other people happy and not care about me. I should have continued doing what I was doing. What was that? I was enrolled at Virginia Commonwealth University in Richmond, Virginia, in the Forensic Science program. I was so lucky to be there and I was looking forward to my future. This school has a place where they bury pigs so you can examine them and see the different levels of decomp as a human would decomp. It is SO cool!!!! (they used to have this, not sure if they still do.) I was loving life, taking 15 credits, working full time in the emergency room at the Medical College of Virginia and volunteering as an EMT on the weekends. I was busy, I was tired, and I was happy.

Do not get me wrong. By moving back to Michigan and going to law school, I met the person I will spend the rest of my life with. I love him and can not imagine life without him. I am just reflecting on what life is, and what it could have been.

Now, I need to make some decisions regarding my future. I have pretty much decided that I am leaving the legal profession behind. It does not interest me anymore and it does not make me happy. I am not excited about my job. In fact, I have to talk myself into going to work every single day. Besides, I am tired of living my marriage over the phone. It is time to move forward.